THE ORIGINAL ORIGIN OF MEN AND WOMEN ON EARTH

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. So we’re aliens. I have actually listened to a book yesterday while I was again riding my daily dose of carbon monoxide van going to LA (L-A-mbunao, Elow-elow). Yes, it is a talking 3-inch book (Have you seen one?). It is actually about Men that are aliens invading Earth and Women, also aliens invading Earth. The best part of the book is when they collide and everything is just destroyed. BRAVO!!! I will not be writing about how it changed my life since it didn’t but I will share with you how alien migration here on earth came about. So, again, we are aliens. You may look normal but you are not normal and women are weirder than us so don’t attack her. Earth is a quiet planet billions or trillions of years ago since women do not exist here way back. Then, Martians, us, are also quiet and reserved. Most of us face our problems in our own laboratories and just come up with solutions later on. We are satisfied with our lives and enjoyed being with our alien rats in the laboratories (Lab Rats). On the other side, Venusians, the women, are the talking people. Venus was known as the Kikay Planet all over the universe and the parallel dimensions. They love hanging out in clubs and talking to their girlfriends about anything: the way they wash the dishes, the pimples on her eyes and the white hair in her underarms. They almost live in the most peaceful way they know. Here comes the exciting part. Since Mars and Venus are two planets separated by Earth, they bombed our planet and it’s done. Kidding! Since Men usually dwell in their laboratories, they have developed interplanetary fleets but they have no idea on where to go so they made cardboard telescopes until they saw disco balls and flashing lights with HIFI Stereo Speakers, Venus. They got into their spaceships and head towards the loud planet. Two days before, Mama Venus dreamed that aliens will be coming over for a party. They are handsome and are strong so the Kikays quickly cleaned their pubs and danced in the tune of Careless Whisper with nice moves. Martians finally reached Venus and they had a great time together. The dancing, the singing and all the flirting were unforgettable. Venusians thought they found their partners. Martians thought to. He wants to be needed; she wants to be cherished. As they strolled along the pink terrace, pink garden and pink corridors, Martians thought that the place was all so pink. Most Martians started to get depressed while some enjoyed with pink (the gays). The men asked the women to move in with them in their planet but the Venusians disagreed and suggested if both could start over in a new planet, Earth, since the planet are dominated by monkeys. Yes. In this story, either you are a monkey or an alien (CHOOSE). The Martians find it fair so they flew to Earth. As they descended their ships, men began to construct their houses and laboratories while women organized a street party. They lived for centuries harmoniously until one day, dinosaurs devoured them all. What was left were the babies who were self-supporting. These new generation didn’t know anything about being aliens. They started eating each other but soon; they discovered that it’s worse than double dead dinosaurs. So as soon as you return home and talk to your sisters and mothers, fathers and brothers, understand their differences and show them your appreciation on whatever uniqueness you can see between the opposite sex. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus tells us the story on how to accept the interplanetary conflicts between Martians and Venusians. Always remember that Men wants to be needed and women wants to be cherished. Men are like rubberbands who need time to be alone for him to be intimate again while women are like waves; she needs to be down for her to be up. Weird, but it works.